Dear Annie: Now that it's 2014, my son will be graduating from college in just a few months, and I have to admit I'm a little worried. He's gotten good grades as a finance major with a minor in business, which I think makes him pretty marketable. He's also done a couple of internships, one with a big-name company and one with a startup, but neither has yet offered him a regular full-time job. I know the job market is still pretty weak, and although I hate to think of myself as the dreaded "helicopter parent" always hovering nearby, I still think he could use some help. My husband and I are both well-connected in our respective fields, so should we be introducing our son to people who might know of job openings, or is that a bad idea? What do you and your readers recommend? ------ Minnesota Mom Dear M.M.: It's not a bad idea at all (more about that in a minute), and wanting to help doesn't make you a helicopter parent unless your "help" starts getting in the way. "Getting a job is really your child's job. It's not your fight," notes David DeLong. "On the other hand, parents know how tough it is out there, which college students don't always realize." DeLong should know. He has a daughter who's a junior in college, but, more to the point, he's a fellow at MIT's Age Lab and the author of a new book called Graduate to a Great Job: Make Your College Degree Pay Off in Today's Market. You might find it useful, since it has a couple of chapters just for parents of new grads. It's certainly true that the class of 2014 will step into a rocky job market. Unemployment among U.S. young people ages 18 to 29 is stuck at about 16%, and underemployment in the same age group -- that is, working at a job that doesn't call for a four-year degree -- stands at roughly half. Moreover, although layoffs in December fell by about 3% year to year, to their lowest level since 2000, according to Chicago outplacement firm Challenger Gray & Christmas, finance jobs are not thick on the ground: The financial industry lost hundreds of thousands of jobs -- more than 80,000 in New York City alone -- in 2013, ironically due to an economic recovery that has drastically reduced the need for people who specialize in foreclosures and rewriting troubled loans. All of those people have had to go somewhere, and your son is competing against them, as well as against many other seasoned finance mavens. 親愛的安妮：再過幾個月，我兒子就要大學畢業(yè)了。說實話，我現(xiàn)在對他有一點兒擔心。他在學校主修金融學，輔修商科，成績優(yōu)異，我覺得他在求職市場上會很有競爭力。他曾做過幾份實習，既有著名的大公司，也有初創(chuàng)公司，但到現(xiàn)在還沒有一家公司給他一份全職工作。 我知道，現(xiàn)在工作很不好找，雖然我不想變成可怕的“直升機父母”，整天形影不離、喋喋不休地問長問短。但我覺得，他也許需要我的幫助。我和孩子爸爸在各自的工作領域內(nèi)人脈很廣，我們是否應該托熟人介紹些工作機會給兒子？這是不是個好辦法？你和你的讀者有什么建議嗎？——一位來自明尼蘇達州的母親。 親愛的明尼蘇達州母親：你的想法一點兒都沒錯（我們稍后就會談原因），而且除非你的“幫忙”阻礙了他的成長，否則，你就不是“直升機父母”。“找工作本來就是孩子們的事，你不應插手，”戴維•德朗說。“另一方面，父母們十分清楚求職之路上的競爭有多激烈，而象牙塔中的學生們卻知之甚少。”德朗很有發(fā)言權，他的女兒正在讀大學三年級，但是他確切的身份是麻省理工學院年代實驗室（Age Lab）的職員，也是《畢業(yè)不失業(yè)：怎樣在求職大軍中脫穎而出》（Graduate to a Great Job: Make Your College Degree Pay Off in Today's Market）一書的作者。這本書中有幾個章節(jié)正是專為應屆畢業(yè)生的父母所寫，對你來說或許會有幫助。 的確，2014年畢業(yè)的應屆生馬上就要加入浩浩蕩蕩的求職者大軍了。在美國，18至29歲之間年輕人的失業(yè)率高達16%，而在無需本科文憑的工作中，同樣年齡段年輕人的失業(yè)率接近50%。 根據(jù)芝加哥職業(yè)介紹機構Challenger, Gray & Christmas的報告顯示，雖然2013年12月的企業(yè)裁員人數(shù)同比下降了3%，創(chuàng)下了自2000年以來的新低，但金融類的工作機會卻并不是那么好找。整個2013年，金融行業(yè)減少了成千上萬個職位，僅紐約市就減少了8萬個崗位。諷刺的是，由于經(jīng)濟復蘇，市場對擅長于止贖或沖銷不良貸款專業(yè)人士的需求大幅下降，而他們總歸是要找一份工作。你兒子除了要與這些人競爭之外，也還會面對許多經(jīng)驗豐富的金融從業(yè)人員。 Still, jobs do exist, of course: In researching his book, DeLong interviewed 35 recent college grads from 20 different schools (all "good" but none Ivy League), who have succeeded at finding interesting full-time work, sometimes with a boost from their mom and dads' connections. "Every parent-child relationship is different, naturally," DeLong says. "Some kids want nothing to do with any kind of help from their folks. Others are counting on it." The first thing many parents have to do, he adds, is come to terms with whatever ambivalence they may harbor about their offspring's leaving home for good. "In all the interviews I did, the parents had mixed feelings. Some of them really wanted the kid to come home for the summer, or even for much longer," he observes. Assuming you've conquered that, here are four steps you can take to help: 1. If possible, set up informational interviews. DeLong likes your idea of introducing your son to some of the people you (and your husband) know professionally. "Informational interviews, where someone meets with a seasoned person in a given field to find out what the various career paths are and how to get from A to B, are a great tool for any job hunter, but especially for new grads," he says. "Parents can be a gold mine of introductions to colleagues, clients, or other people with real-world insights that kids can really use." 2. Encourage your child to develop a focus. Those informational interviews should help with this, as should reading some company websites and studying up on current trends in a given industry. "Employers tell me that most entry-level applicants have only a vague idea, if that, of what they want to do or what skills they bring," DeLong says. New grads often overlook, for instance, the link between team leadership honed in college sports or other activities and employers who are looking for those skills. You can help by pointing out the abilities and experience your son has to offer that companies want -- and that he may be overlooking. 3. Lend a hand with preparing for interviews. "New grads almost always need help with how to act and what to say in a job interview, either from you or from the campus career center or some other experienced source," DeLong says, adding that "interviews are more complicated now than they used to be, with many employers now depending on phone screens and Skype meetings, both of which call for different approaches." At the same time, he says, "make sure your child is ready mentally for the sheer number of interviews he or she will probably have to do before getting hired." 4. Steer him or her clear of the "passion hoax." DeLong considers this so important that he devoted a whole chapter of his book to it. "The larger society, or sometimes even parents themselves, too often encourage kids to 'do what you love' or 'find your bliss,'" he says. "But what if your bliss is the current equivalent of the buggy-whip business?" 不過，工作機會總是有的。德朗曾做過一項調(diào)查，他訪問了從20所不同學校（都是不錯的學校但并非常春藤名校）畢業(yè)的35位應屆畢業(yè)生，他們都成功地找到了不錯的全職工作，有些人的確也借助了父母的人脈關系。“父母與孩子的關系天然地都各不相同，”德朗說。“有些孩子根本不會從父母哪兒得到任何幫助，而有些孩子卻完全依賴父母。” 他接著說，許多父母首先要做的就是，克服舍不得孩子離開家的矛盾心理。在我所做的全部訪問中，父母對孩子離家都有一種復雜的情緒。有些父母的確想讓孩子回家過暑假，甚至希望他們能待得更久，”他說道。假設你已經(jīng)克服這種矛盾心理，以下四個步驟將會對你有所幫助： 1. 如果可能的話，幫他們聯(lián)系信息性面試。德郎會比較認同你把兒子介紹給你（或丈夫）所認識的職場人士的想法。“信息性面試就是讓他們與某個特定領域中的經(jīng)驗豐富人士交流，以確定不同的職業(yè)發(fā)展路徑，以及了解如何取得職業(yè)晉升。這對于求職者來說是個十分有用的工具，特別是應屆畢業(yè)生，”他說。“父母如果能把同事、客戶等職業(yè)人士介紹給孩子，分享對他們有益的社會經(jīng)驗，那么對孩子來說，父母就無異于一個金礦。” 2. 鼓勵孩子逐漸明確想法。給孩子們提供信息化面試的好處很多，因為他們需要閱讀公司的網(wǎng)頁，了解某一行業(yè)的發(fā)展趨勢。“雇主們告訴我，初級申請者僅對未來所從事的工作或是所需要的技能只有很模糊的概念，”德郎說。比如，應屆畢業(yè)生常常忽視在大學比賽或活動中所鍛煉出來的團隊領導力與需要這些技能的雇主之間的聯(lián)系。你可以幫助他了解他所具備的哪些能力和經(jīng)驗是招聘公司所需要的，而他說不定忽略了這一點。 3. 幫助他們準備面試。“面試時如何應對或應答？每個應屆畢業(yè)生都需要得到這方面的指導和幫助，無論這種指導是來自你或是學校職業(yè)介紹中心還是其他經(jīng)驗人士，”德郎說。“如今面試的難度與以前相比早已不可同日而語，現(xiàn)在許多雇主們都依賴于電話面試或網(wǎng)絡視頻面試，這些都需要不同的應對技巧。”而同時，他說：“還要確保他們從思想上做好準備：在找到工作之前需要經(jīng)歷海量的面試。” 4. 引導他們不要 “被興趣所蒙蔽”。德朗非常重視這一點，他的書中有一整個章節(jié)都是在探討這個問題。“整個社會，有時是甚至是父母都會鼓勵孩子們‘做自己喜歡的事’或是‘找到自己的興趣所在’，但如果你的興趣早已跟不上時代怎么辦？” By his lights, a valuable (and difficult) part of parents' role is being supportive while still acting as a reality check. "Encourage new grads to learn about what industries are growing now and which ones aren't, and where the opportunities are likely to be in the future," he says.You might also mention that "the point right now is to start somewhere, without worrying too much about whether it's the ideal job," DeLong adds. "Especially at the outset of a career, even a job you don't like will teach you a lot." What if your child is going into, say, drama, film, or some other field where lots of other talented people are parking cars or waiting tables? "Of course, a few of those people do get their big break," he notes. "But parents need to make sure kids understand the likely consequences of any choice they make now." Good luck. Talkback: If you've helped a son or daughter find a job in this tough economy, what helped the most (or least)? Leave a comment below. 在他看來，在應屆生子女求職過程中，父母所能發(fā)揮的最有價值（同時也是困難）的作用就是既要做到“輔助”，同時也要幫助他們認清現(xiàn)實。“家長們應該鼓勵應屆畢業(yè)生子女去了解哪些行業(yè)在蓬勃發(fā)展，哪些行業(yè)已日薄西山，同時還要判斷未來的趨勢和機會，”他說。你最好還要告訴他們“當下最重要的便是著手開始做一份工作，不要過于在意這份工作是否是自己的‘理想職業(yè)’，”德朗補充說。“在職業(yè)生涯的初期，哪怕是一份你并不喜歡的工作也能讓你獲益匪淺。” 如果你的孩子在戲劇、電影這些行業(yè)，或者說是那些拿著大學文憑卻只能做泊車或服務員的行業(yè)，你該怎么辦？“這些行業(yè)中當然也有出類拔萃的人，”他說。“但身為父母，你也必須確保自己的孩子了解，他們現(xiàn)在所做的選擇會對自己的未來產(chǎn)生怎樣的影響。” 祝你好運。 如果你曾經(jīng)幫助自己的子女在如今慘淡的經(jīng)濟環(huán)境下找到工作，你覺得你在哪方面對他們幫助最大（或最小）？歡迎在下面留言。（財富中文網(wǎng)） 譯者：唐昕昕 |
金球獎頒獎典禮教給我們的溝通技巧
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